I’m in my late twenties. There, I said it. I don’t know how I got here, but this is where I am. I’ll be thirty in about six months which is beyond my wildest imagination right now.
Recently, Tinder prompted me to renew my Tinder Gold subscription, which means I have officially been online dating for one year. Online dating, and just dating in general, is a new territory for me but it has been quite the fascinating experiment. Basically, all I have learned is this: I have no idea what I want, but I’m discovering what I don’t want.
So, to celebrate my Tinder anniversary, I would like to share my observations and thoughts from this interesting chapter of my life.
- I don’t trust any of you.
- Yes, I care about how tall you are. Sorry/not sorry. I need some height in a partner to make up for my width (*insert LOLing emoji*). Helpful hint: don’t put up a picture of yourself next to your taller friend.
- Why do so many guys ask to share pictures? I don’t like where that’s going and ain’t nobody got time to take pictures to send to some weirdo.
- Men can be total creeps and jerks. I guess I already knew this, though.
- Men can be great and real sweethearts. I knew this already, too.
- I get the ick really easily.
- I want a guy who likes cats… but any guy on Tinder who has a cat seems to be a total weirdo!
- Bumble has the same men as Tinder but they just act like they’re trying harder.
- Guys, don’t put a picture of you with a kid and then not address it in your bio. I will always assume it’s yours and I will always swipe left. Sorry/not sorry.
- WHY like me, match, and then never talk?
- Have men gotten so lazy that they wouldn’t even reply to a woman who initiated a conversation with them?
- Why are my Tinder “top picks” out of my league but I’m not interested in guys who like me? Hm that answer is probably too deep for this post.
- Never give your number out until after you meet the guy and decide you want to see him again. Until then, he can contact you via the app.
- And, I love that I can just ghost someone I don’t like. It gets harder once you meet them and the ick settles in, though!
- Why are guys so obsessed with tacos?!
- Why do I always seem to match with great guys who don’t live anywhere close to me?
- Or that feeling when you match with someone who seems amazing but you don’t know how to play hard to get so they unmatch you before they even respond to your seemingly witty opener.
- If I see one more bio about being fluent in sarcasm…
- If he says he’s “self-employed” it’s usually not a good sign.
- Don’t get too caught up with someone unless you are both mutually exclusive. It’s a great way to get hurt.
- You can date multiple people at once. It feels weird as a newly single person but it’s okay when you’re not serious with any one.
- Guys really don’t seem to care if your thighs are too thick or skin is too pale… insecurities are only what you make them to be. They’re just happy to be with you.
- I still don’t trust any of you though.
Well, there you have it. I’m not fed up just yet but let’s just say it this way: the more guys I meet, the more I like my cats. And wine. And being single.